Feedback on my second essay

Essay 2 has definitely been an adventure. It has been a learning experience but I feel I may have fallen into many of the pitfalls that plagued me in essay 1. Obviously this time I play to change these shortcomings later, it is only my first draft. That being said, I need my readers to focus in on a couple aspects of my paper. The first area is conciseness. Is what I am saying really relevant to my overall work? The second aspect I need my readers to watch are empty adjectives. Am I using useless superlatives like: “astronomically” or “amazingly”. Definitely feel free to write about whatever area you wish to in my paper. Just make sure you put some focus on those two areas. Thank you in advance for your feedback.

Essay 2 Plan

I feel like choosing the third option for my second essay really created a lot of freedom in my writing. I’m much more able to discuss other significant aspects of blogging, besides strictly expression of identity. I’m going to argue that blogging can significantly enhance learning in academic environment. I think it’s a nice argument to shoehorn my way into the “conversation”. I still haven’t found my other sources but I haven’t spent much time seeking them out so I don’t anticipate any major problems with that. I feel like I have a strong sense of direction for my paper. All I have to do now is finalize my sources and start writing my essay.

Source for essay 2

I have decided to use the article “E-Learning” 2.0 by Stephen Downes as a source to support my paper. Throughout the article Downes discusses how online tools such as blogging are evolving into powerful learning tools as the world wide web expands. He argues that online learning tools are evolving as rapidly as the internet itself. In order to support his argument, Downes begins his article by giving a brief history of the evolution of various learning tools that utilize the world wide web such as blogs, blackboard, and a tool called McMaster. Downes then goes on to present an argument for the future of online learning. His article seems like a great tool for the angle I’m taking with my paper.

Thoughts on essay 2

I am the most interested in the third option for my second essay. It seems like the best option for me to be able to break into the discussion. It seems like the most freeing option and therefore probably something that will produce my best work. I didn’t really like option one because I really don’t think my blog is interesting enough to write four pages about, nor did I like option two because it seems like almost a repeat of the essay I just did. The third option seems like it’s the best because I feel like there’s a lot to discuss about the overall significance of blogging in society; it’s even something I think I can build on from my last essay. I actually wanted to write more about the overall significance of blogging; however, I was restricted by the prompt. The second essay will really give me an opportunity to elaborate further on my ideas.

Thoughts on West's article

Reading West's article is enlightening for a number of reasons. She really found a way to appeal to her students interests as opposed to a rigid form of learning that public education often stoops to. She make a strong argument for educational environments around the world to follow her suit. She demonstrates that using digital tools can be a great medium for today's youth to learn and shows some of the true potential of blogging. Through reading her table of student blogs, it seems like the internet has allowed for a whole new level of interaction and learning between her students. I found West's article is quite thought-provoking overall.

Reflecting on essay 1

Writing essay 1 taught me a few important things going forward to essay 2 and future college essays. First and foremost, I learned that I need to spread the writing process out better. 95% of the time was spent slowly researching and revising my essay; the other 5% was on me semi-frantically writing up my rough draft. I need to bring those percentages closer for sure. Working on essay 1 also taught me that if I revise my essay through various resources, I can vastly improve my paper. I’ve also learned that my writings are part of a grand conversation. Everything I do is a work in progress. I know the things I’ve learned from writing essay 1 will be invaluable going forward.

They Say, I Say

They Say, I Say brought many important points about writing; however, one in particular really struck me as something I need to implement into my writing. I need to make a point to organize my paper in a way that doesn’t confuse the reader. I need to make sure I balance my voice with an academic style that is relatively easy to understand. I need to be able to get my message across without it becoming cluttered. On other side, I need to make sure my writing doesn’t come off as extremely dry. They Say, I Say has made me realize that I need to be able to balance my voice with an academic approach in my writing